as i drove home from my grandma’s last week, i was acutely aware of my surroundings. something about the circumstances under which i visited, combined with one of those stellar, clear winter days in L.A. made me ever so nostalgic. in fact, it made me a bit homesick. the funny thing is that i really didn’t have a “hometown”. i’ve never lived in one city for more than 6 years, and even within those cities, i’ve never been in the same house more than 4 years. it’s been a continuous cycle of change.

but something about L.A., particularly long beach, touches me deeply. everything feels fresh and alive. a rush of random memories fills me as i make certain drives that were once a part of daily routine. one of these drives was over the Vincent Thomas Bridge from san pedro to long beach. i not only made that drive while working, but for many months when i lived with my grandma, i drove over the bridge and the evening lights of the harbor into work in downtown long beach. there wasn’t a day that i didn’t thoroughly appreciate that drive. i specifically made that drive last week, even though it wasn’t the most direct route, just so i could share the bridge and the amazing colors with my precious Chloe. i wasn’t disappointed.

i’ve recently had a lot of good (in my opinion) music in rotation:
Lykke Li
Coconut Records
Sufjan Stevens
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
Boards of Canada
Red House Painters
Emiliana Torrini
Nightmares on Wax
Cocteau Twins
Kings of Convenience

i made a mix cd of these, and something lead me to put the song “Homesick”, by Kings of Convenience, as the last track. as i’ve listened to it over the past few days, i realized how wonderfully poignant the lyrics were. as i began editing these photos tonight, the song popped in my head as a perfect accompaniment.

I’ll lose some sales and my boss won’t be happy,
but I can’t stop listening to the sound
of two soft voices
blended in perfection
from the reels of this record that I’ve found.
Every day there’s a boy in the mirror asking me:
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear.
I’ve traveled far and I’ve burned all the bridges
I believed as soon as I hit land
all the other options held before me,
would wither in the light of my plan.
So I’ll lose some sales and my boss won’t be happy,
but there’s only one thing on my mind
searching boxes underneath the counter,
on a chance that on a tape I’d find:
a song for someone who needs somewhere to long for.
Because I no longer know where home is.

home collage.jpg